Dear Future Husband,
I thought in spirit of such a love-filled holiday, I could tell you about the time I broke my first crush’s heart on this lovely day once a upon a time many years ago… 🙂
It was during my awkward years as a pre-teen middle schooler, I was new to the small county town and somehow managed to make the pep squad and tennis team with pre-AP classes. Because it was a really small town, I ended up having classes with pretty much the same kids and most of them happened to be the popular jocks and fellow cheerleaders. I happened to become best friends with the co-captain and ended up sitting at the “cool kids” table at lunch. Most of my friends, were outside of that realm but I ended up becoming close to a handful of the popular kids, including the quarterback of our football team.
He was the sweetest guy I had met, and shockingly he wasn’t stuck up in the way people made him out to be. It didn’t hurt that he was tall, and athletic with the prettiest baby blues. And apparently he was part of a four person clique that only wore white collared button up shirts, jeans and flip flops and ate outside at the only picnic table. They didn’t really talk to anyone outside of their little group and were THE kids to be. (Typing all of this out, only shows how much more ridiculous and silly middle school is!)
My History teacher ended up pairing us together as partners for the entire year. Every morning, he would say good morning and pull out my chair for me which was really awkward but slowly I became accustomed to our little routine. We sat near each other in most classes and usually paired together. His clique soon disbanded after we started eating lunch together and he walking me to classes. Sometimes he would come to my tennis practices or I would run down to his football/track/baseball/etc. practices.
He stood up for me and became my “protector” when I started getting bullied. And after the incident of my most of my tennis team beating me up and stealing my clothes from my gym locker, he did his best to ensure that I was taken care of. For the age of being 12, he was such a gentleman and he was my best friend.
After a writing competition, I was walking around the school waiting to be picked up when I heard my name being called. I turned around and it was Jay and Trey (they were cousins but acted more like twin brothers).
Trey called me again and I walked over to the lockers.
He asked if I had won. I said yes.
And that was it. We awkwardly stood there with Jay just watching. I told them bye and walked over to my locker which was nearby when Jay came over and told me that Trey has had a crush on me the entire school year. My face turned red and I didn’t know what to do or say. I was the gawky, nerdy girl who got picked on for always drawing or reading in class.
Trey called me again, but I was to shy and nervous after Jay told me Trey’s “secret”. Trey came over to my locker and Jay went over to a picnic table to let us talk but still watching from a distance. Trey gave me a rose, which I took but also knowing he cut it from one of the bushes in our school garden.
It was then he asked me to be his date for the Valentine’s dance, that night.
The first thoughts were, Why are you asking me now?! The dance is in two hours and I don’t have enough time to get ready?! What do I wear?!!!! I don’t have an outfit…
(Which are ALL things I still think when a guy asks me out at the very last moment. I guess some things never change!)
But if anyone knew me in middle school, you would know I was E X T R E M E L Y shy. I rarely talked and got embarrassed about pretty much everything, I was just an awkward kid to be around. And at this very moment, it was no different. My face burned and I just stood there with him waiting for an answer.
And then I just took off running. My best friend who stood up against school bullies for me had given me a rose and asked me out to the dance… and I just took off running as if he was going to kill me.
After that, we never talked to each other again but because we had partnered up in all our classes together before we had to work together but we did it in complete silence until near the end of the school year.
Right before summer vacation was to start, I was moving two months before. My history class threw me a going away party and he sat at my table with my group of friends when all the kids started saying how they would miss me and I was so nice. He disagreed.
A friend asked why he would say that when I was always nice. And he replied I wasn’t nice because I said no to being his valentine (which was months ago by this time).
And what did I do this time to him?! I laughed. I laughed as this little kid who had been nothing but nice to me because I’m so socially awkward and didn’t know what to do.
Needless to say, we never stayed in touch and I think back to these moments and I’m so sorry for breaking his little heart. It wasn’t out of meanness but more out of my inability to be a normal person.
Hope you enjoyed this story of my dorkiness because it’ll probably be just as awkward when we meet.
Happy Valentine’s Day!