In the Rearview

“The only time you should look back is too see how far you’ve come.”      

Dear Future Husband,

When I started this blog in March of last year, I had no expectations of where things would go nor, did I think I would be as committed to this and you as I have become. The point was to write to you when I wanted (though sometimes I didn’t and it was more forcibly) but to write to you nonetheless and share with you my life. I want you to be a part of my past, present and future and to know ALL of me.

With this said, I would have to say, you have definitely spent the last year getting to know me and seeing me both at my best and at my worst. I’ve gone through a lot in one year and I’ve shared it with you. It’s been a tougher note that I ended with and not at all where I imagined myself in the beginning or what I had planned. But if there’s one definite lesson I learned last year, it’s that life never goes as planned.

This was a year of happiness and loss. I became a proud aunt to three handsome little boys who remind me that children are cute little monsters who will destroy anything (even your life) – just kidding! My best friend married the love of her life. I traveled to new places and made friends with strangers.  My mom is newly engaged and I’m planning her wedding for the new year. And as I was ready to start my own life that I worked so hard to build, it all came crashing down towards the end of the year.  But hey, there’s not much I can do when in reality they were other peoples mistakes. I lost my cushy dream job that I absolutely loved (laid off) along with hundreds of others because of corporate politics and selfishness. Because of that I had to put off house hunting. Along with getting cheated on, I shut down and became a mess so I dropped out of college (for a semester) which made me feel like an even bigger loser.  Not my proudest couple of months, but I completely lost it.

I’d like to start off the New Year with such an ultimate comeback story but it’s still being worked on.

If anything 2015 was a year of lessons, lessons that I don’t think  should be forgotten and have taught me things about myself or life that I hope to take away from and share with you:

  • Do what makes you happy, even if it makes others unhappy because the life you live is for yourself and not anyone else.
  • Overthinking will lead to sadness.
  • I’m my own soul mate. For whatever reasons, my time of meeting someone wasn’t now. Instead of forcing chemistry with a person it obviously wasn’t going to work out with, I channeled my energy into myself and want to be the best version of myself for myself. When you love yourself more than anymore can love you and become at peace with yourself, that’s when you’ll find love. Never spend your life searching for your other half, because you are your own soulmate! I believe in true love and know that someday I will meet who God has destined me to be with but until then, I will keep writing letters to you.
  • Surround yourself with like-minded people. The people you associate yourself with are a reflection of who you are.
  • What goes around eventually comes around.
  • Don’t become a victim.  I can’t allow fear stop me from achieving goals because that’s only hindering my success.  Overcome it and keep pushing forward; it’s okay to stumble sometimes, that I might not be sure but all that matters is to keep going!
  • You’re going to grow apart from some people and that’s okay.
  • Things get better with time.
  • Seek quality; something that’s real, something you can grow, something you are proud of because as you grow up, things change, you change and you start to like it that way.
  • Travel, explore! And learn everyday. Always want to experience life in a deeper way.  Never stop pursuing knowledge or being curious of the infinite world.
  • Stay positive even when the world around you is negative!
  • Hate less. Forgive often. Write more.
  • See yourself in the mirror? All of you, your curves and imperfections; you are beautiful. You have a purpose here.  Don’t let a small bump in the road or a mistake blind you from the light that you are.  No matter how hard things get, just relax and breathe.  Go within and release the things you can’t change. You are amazing. I believe in you and I hope you believe in yourself.
  • Find peace in your heart and clarity in your mind,
  • And above all else, just L O V E !

What a  year it has been.   A year of maturity, growth, awareness, and development.  A lot has changed and looking back, nothing is the same. Ending the year, I lost some of the people I began it with or met along the way.  I don’t have the same mentality or outlook and that’s okay. As I evolve, I’m going to change a lot more.  I’ll continue to grow apart from situations, circumstances and even people that aren’t in my best interest. The beautiful thing about leaving a year behind is collecting all the lessons  I’ve learned that I can use in this new year.  My story isn’t over.  It’s still beginning.  All the ups and downs I’ve experienced are preparing me for what’s to come.  I can only get betting when I take my shortcomings as an opportunity to learn and grow.  Last year may have been a year full of lessons, but cross my fingers 2016 is a year of blessings.  I’ll keep my hope and my head up.

I hope great things are coming our way!

Love,

Your Future Wife

 

 

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One thought on “In the Rearview

  1. You have an amazing talent in your letters that I find intriguing, esp when you say we’re our own soulmates, so true ! You have to love yourself 100% before you can love others. Thanks for the good read

    Like

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