In•Sincere Intentions

Dear Future Husband,

I’m scared.

I’m scared of failing. I’m scared of bugs. I’m also scared of car crashes and sometimes the dark.

But what scares me the most is love.

I know that’s harsh but I can’t help but think about the worst things that happen. I hope I meet you. I hope we’re madly in love and can stay together even when it starts getting tough. Love is real and raw but it’s also hard.

I’ve never been in love and the thought that I may possibly feel that way about someone, especially you frightens me. My heart has been played with so many times I don’t open up easily, which has made it difficult to make friends or even date. I’ve built my wall so high and guys don’t have the patience to try anymore. They give up, and I don’t blame them. I know I’m not the easiest person to date or even get to know, I’m stubborn, needy and so very guarded. Being with me will be difficult. I second guess and over analyze. People have come in and out of my life so much that I’ve stopped caring, attachments to people aren’t made and I keep to myself because no one has ever loved me as much as I’ve loved myself. I’ve been used, abused and taken for granted by friends, boyfriends and even family. Some of the most important people of my life whom I’ve trusted have turned their backs on me.

Yes, I’m tough and hardened but I still care about people, especially those that I’ve learned to trust. I’m a genuine and honest person, the things I’ve done and will do for people, no one has done for me. I would walk through fire and give my soul for those few I love.

When I love, I love fiercely and intensely. I also realize my love isn’t for everybody and that’s ok. I have the faith and strength to keep trusting that things will work out in how they’re supposed to. I will keep growing and learning.

I also know that if I fall in love and it does hurt, I have the strength to persevere through it because I know what my heart deserves this time around.

Love doesn’t quit. And neither will I. Please never stop fighting for me. For US.

Love,

Your Future Wife

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