Going through my social media account last night and the messages that ensued after posting another fashionable #selfie, I came across a message from Dean**. He was a few years older than me and had pretty blues along with a gorgeous white smile. (Cue the awing.) Clicking right to view more of his photos, I saw him sunglasses on holding a large stingray, in the background of a ship and ocean waters.
My mouth dropped.
Clicking more fervently, and a little bit dizzy I started studying his photos. None of which I recognized.
I went back to the stingray.
Scrolling to his about me I saw details that I memorized from two years ago. His alma mater listed with the same major that I recall. Repeating his hobbies, I read.
IT WAS DEAN.
“Hey Tiarra, how are you? You are a very talented writer.”
“I’ve been looking for you!”
“Am I being punked or are you serious?!”
I realized he didn’t remember me and went on to explain that a couple of years ago that I actually really liked him. We had never exchanged phone numbers, instead using social media accounts to talk. We used to talk all day, every day until one day he no longer replied to any of my messages. I had no idea why, as we were just friends and nothing had been said to offend or anger anyone. We literally talked 24/7 and he just stopped then disappeared from all social media altogether. I gave him his full name and details of him that I knew. I had no idea why he stopped talking to me and couldn’t tell him anything further. He had just gone MIA.
He didn’t remember me.
I pushed once more.
“Was this two years ago?”
Two years ago, he was in an accident he said and suffered a brain injury in which he had memory deficiencies and can’t remember what happened before the accident. He apologized for his MIA status. He has been recovering, graduated, and dealt with family and friends.
It was chilling to read his account of details, because within the last two years I’ve tried to find ways to contact him to no avail. I’ve always wondered what happened to Dean and worried. I don’t know why, I just knew that it wasn’t like him to just disappear. There had to be a reason, and I was often fearful that the reason was a worrying one. He couldn’t sleep all night and because I read his messages at work in the early morning, I couldn’t focus.
It’s crazy to think that I’ve always felt there was something more than ignored messages. I just KNEW he wasn’t like that and had an intuition that something did in fact happen.
I’ve text him this morning and am checking my phone every few seconds. I’m not sure what to expect or what series of events will come to play. I don’t even know what kind of accident or how traumatizing it may have been. All I know is he doesn’t remember who I am. I remember him and have memories of us. I don’t want to push him or scare him off. We may text and never meet or meet and never talk again or become friends… I have no idea.
I’m not sure if he will even respond. And if he doesn’t that’s fine. I have closure now.
It’s just a little mind blowing to be honest.