My First

Dear Future Husband,

Deep breathe. I’m nervous, anxious and excited to be writing to you right now. This is my first letter to you. I don’t know your name yet, who you are, what you like, what you hate and everything else in between. You don’t know me either. Right now, we’re still strangers.

Maybe we’ve met. Maybe you’re a friend of mine. Or a stranger I’ve passed in the street. A guy at the gym or the grocery store. Or someone I won’t meet years from now. What I do know, is that I’m scared, but mostly excited to meet you! And one day, spend the rest of my life with you.

Until then, I’ll write letters to you, my future husband. I’m not sure how often I will write. Maybe everyday or once a week. I might write every few months or just when I feel like I need to talk to you. You don’t know me yet, but I think you should. You’ll be a part of my future, but I want you to be a part of my past and present, to know who I was before you met me. I want you to be a part of my journey: my struggles, successes and everything else. The journey before US.

Love, I won’t be perfect. I will make mistakes along the way, probably a lot. You may read these letters and think, “What was she thinking?” But the mistakes I make now will make me a better person and make me into the person you fall in love with. I will never be perfect, but I hope I’m perfect for you.

I’ve been thinking about you all my life, where I might meet you, what you may look like and if your family will love me. I want to meet your mom and dad, do you have siblings? Or are you an only child? I can’t wait until I meet your mom and she pulls the photo album down to show me embarrassing photos of your baby butt and just as funny childhood stories! Oh, and your grandparents! They’ll be so cute giving us advice and the spiel about how marriage isn’t how it used to be. But that’s ok, times may have changed but not the kind of marriage I want.

I want to fall in love and grow old together. I’m not looking forward to the parts where we may fight from time to time, loss of loved ones, financial struggles or other tough parts of our marriage. But I like the things about finishing each other’s sentences and being able to know what the other person is thinking, even before they think it. However, I always want to be able to learn new things about you, to find out something exciting and unexpected that I never knew before, like that you even though you’re a guy’s guy, you’re favorite move is “Pride and Prejudice” or for some weird reason that you’re really scared of squirrels. I want to build my life with you; I want to grow with you.

You don’t know any of this right now, and I probably haven’t even met you yet. When I do, I hope you will understand the life you’re getting yourself into, my huge crazy Mexican family, about my weird “lifestyle change” of becoming paleo but still trying to eat processed junk that makes me sick and my over-obsessiveness about everything. I can’t wait to be the one you come home to and my paleo dinners that you’ll probably hate but still shove down your throat while complimenting my burnt food– because you understand that these things are a part of me and will love me too much to say anything that will hurt my feelings. I can’t wait for you to be a part of these things, too, a part of me I can’t live without.

But I hope, wherever you are, you know some of these things about yourself, too. I hope you have your own letter, just waiting for me in a drawer somewhere to be read when I become your wife.

I can’t wait to read it.


Your Future Wife